Fighting in Corporate Speak

Cheeky Email Responses Worth the Meeting with HR

The cold, industrial tone of corporate speak is my least favorite way to communicate, but it’s how we keep our jobs when we’re tempted to go off on a co-worker. Just because we have to keep it professional, doesn’t mean we can’t put someone in their place. Here are a couple of cheeky email responses that might just make your day (or get you a stern talking-to from HR).

“I’m glad this email found you before I did.”
Ah, the classic passive-aggressive opener. Perfect for those moments when you want to remind your colleague that they’re on thin ice with you.

“Let’s take this offline.”
Translation: “Let’s discuss this in person so I can give you the death stare without leaving a paper trail.” Sometimes, a face-to-face conversation is the best way to handle delicate matters. Or, you know, to avoid having your snarky remark immortalized in an email thread.

“Kindly refrain from engaging in activities beyond the scope of your responsibilities and focus on tasks assigned to you.”
This one’s for those moments when you need to remind your co-worker to stay in their lane.

“I believe there is a misalignment between the compensation provided and the…